Hilton Head Island, SC – September 14, 2014
The Chapel Without Walls
Proverbs 12:13-20; Proverbs 17:14-22; Psalm 141:1-10
A Sermon by John M. Miller
Text – Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips! – Psalm 141:3
The Power and Danger of Words
A young Englishman arrived on these shores just a short time before the beginning of the American Revolution. He was a fascinating, gifted, and incendiary character, and his name was Thomas Paine. Shortly after arriving in the American colonies, he wrote an essay called Common Sense. Perhaps more than anything else that had been written up to that time which promoted the idea of breaking the political ties with Britain, Common Sense was the spark which lighted the fire which sent colonists to Lexington and Concord, and from there all the way to Yorktown.
The pamphlet was reprinted again and again, until thousands of copies flooded through all thirteen of the colonies.
Among other things, Thomas Paine said this: “Government, like dress, is the badge of lost innocence; the palaces of kings are built on the ruins of the bowers of paradise.” He was at heart a fiery libertarian, long before the notion was well formed anywhere in the world. “Society in every state is a blessing,” Paine wrote, “but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil.” After the American Revolution, Thomas Paine left for France, where he became deeply involved in the French Revolution. His treatise for that conflict was called The Rights of Man, and it became widely disseminated throughout Europe and America.
In 1775 a young Virginian gave a speech at a meeting of the Virginia convention in Richmond. He ended his famous oration with these words: “Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!” For those brief words alone, if there had been no others, did Patrick Henry pass into the permanent annals of American political oratory.
Words have immense power. They also can pose grave dangers. I suppose that even as a teenager I realized both of those truths. For that reason, throughout my ministry I have always written out every word of what I intended to say in a sermon. On occasion I will insert something that pops into my addled brain when I am delivering a sermon, but it doesn’t happen often. I am amazed at the increasing number of preachers, especially younger ones, who preach without a complete manuscript, or indeed in many instances without even any notes. I would go into cardiac arrest were I to attempt to preach like that. Kudos to those who preach extemporaneously excellently, but as for me, give me a complete text, or the lack of same will give me death.
The Bible has many things to say about the power and the danger of words. Today we have three passages from two different books about how powerful, and dangerous, words can be. The first one we shall look at is Psalm 141, which is identified as a Psalm of David. In it David made a statement about himself which was a very cogent plea to God regarding one of David’s most obvious of his many faults. He said, “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord, keep watch over the door of my lips!”
There is a theological issue behind such a prayer before we inspect the contents of the prayer. It is this: Will God help us to keep from doing things we know we shouldn’t do? Is it either wise or relevant for people who are a hundred pounds overweight to implore God to help them to keep from eating too much? Does God answer the prayers of those who regularly spend too much money who ask for assistance in restraining themselves? Will God overcome the addictions to drugs or alcohol or sex or gambling of people who pray to Him for such assistance? My guess is that it is well to pray for divine help in such matters, if only because we admit to God that we have a problem, and that may be the first step in overcoming the problem. Of course God knows we have the problem before we tell Him about it, and even if we don’t ask for help, He may help us anyway. Nevertheless, probably there is both a psychological and a theological benefit to be acquired by praying such prayers.
In any event, King David asked God to set a guard over his mouth, and to keep watch over the door of his lips. What outstanding poetic imagery are those words! Our mouths indeed need guards over them, and the flapping doors of our lips need a strong spring or pneumatic closer attached to them. All of us have said things we knew we shouldn’t have said, and wish we had never said, but we said them anyway. How can we eliminate doing that?
Here is a suggestion. It is very important, to the degree it is possible, to think through ahead of time, what kinds of things it is --- or isn’t --- wise to say under every conceivable occasion. One of the best helps in doing that is to observe what others say in awkward situations which we, and presumably they, know should never have been said. If we can see how others make mistakes by their words, we may avoid repeating similar mistakes with our own words.
I will give you an example from a movie I presume everyone here has seen at least once, and many of us many times. It is Gone With the Wind. Remember how, when Atlanta was being shelled by Sherman’s Army, and Melanie was about to have her baby? The slave girl, Prissie, insisted that she was an obstetrical wizard, and Scarlett and Melanie made the mistake of taking her at her word. Then, when the time came, Prissie had to admit, “O Miss Scarlett, I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ babies!” Fortunately, thanks to Margaret Mitchell and Scarlett O’Hara, it all worked out well in the end. But Prissie never should have opened her mouth to say what she said, because it could have led to a disaster.
One time when I was twelve or thirteen years old, our Boy Scout troop was on a weekend camping trip. I don’t recall the circumstances that prompted me to make a particular statement, but I can tell you it was the most vile, offensive thing I ever said in my whole life. I won’t tell you what it was, so don’t ask me. I am ashamed even to recollect it, but I do so to illustrate how words can be intended or unintended daggers or bullets or bombs. It was a terrible thing that I said, and I have never forgotten it. I only hope the boy I said it to allowed it to pass forever from his memory. The worst of it was this: I never meant to say what I said; it just came out. My mouth was not guarded, and the door of my lips opened wide to emit an horrendous calumny upon a fellow human being. But because it was so awful, I felt it would only make it worse if I tried privately to explain myself, and rightly or wrongly, I never did. Every now and then I remember this agonizing incident, and I am reminded that no one can ever attain true righteousness, even though we --- or at least I --- might believe the delusion that it is possible.
There are two sets of three little words we can never take back, once we have said them. The first three words, which are far better known, are, “I love you.” It is a grave mistake for anyone in a potentially romantic situation to say “I love you” if the person saying it doesn’t mean it. But even worse are these three little words in any situation: “I hate you.” It is children or teenagers or others who are emotionally immature who are likely to say they hate someone. They may or may not mean it when they say it, but they can never nullify those words. Once they have been formulated into an oral expression, they cannot be taken back. Sadly, but also understandably, a person is more likely to be seriously injured by hearing “I hate you” than to hear, “I love you.” But either way, great damage can be done, if the one speaking either does or does not mean what is spoken. There is great power, and danger, in words.
Our responsive reading was taken from the 12th chapter of the Book of Proverbs, which begins with a famous verse: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Think about Saddam Hussein bragging about victory in what he declared would be “the mother of all battles.” Think about some of the things Vladimir Putin has said recently, denying Russian military involvement in Ukraine. Think about what the self-proclaimed caliph of ISIS or ISIL or just IS (the Islamic State) has said about the mayhem he intends to fling against the West.
Contrast those kinds of words to what Abraham Lincoln said in his Second Inaugural Address. “With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation’s wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle, and for his widow and for his orphans, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.” Or John F. Kennedy at his inauguration: “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask rather what you can do for your country.” Or Ronald Reagan, on the evening when Challenger had exploded and all aboard were killed: “We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye and ‘slipped the surly bonds of earth’ to ‘touch the face of God.’”
Words can be magnificent or mortifying, edifying and electrifying, energizing or enervating. Two verses in Proverbs 17 validate these truths. “The beginning of strife is like letting out water; so quit before the quarrel breaks out” (v. 14). Ill-considered words can start to cascade down like a waterfall, and soon a major dispute is born. We need to guard our tongues, and close the doors to foolish words passing from our lips. “A man of crooked mind does not prosper, and one with a perverse tongue falls into calamity” (v. 21).Some people seem constantly to speak hurtful, ugly words, and to do so with no remorse. Why do they do it when they know the inevitably negative results beforehand?
In early 2010 a certain professional basketball player said he wanted to leave his home-town team and head for South Florida. When LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat, he had words with the team’s owner, Dan Gilbert. Because of what was said, the two men did not part happily. If you follow the NBA, you will realize that LeBron will be back with the Cavaliers this fall. Both let bygones be bygones. If emotionally-charged words occur between people, they can be put into the past, since they were spoken in the past. It may not be easy to do, but it is wise to do it. A soft answer turns away wrath, and it beats harsh words every time. It is good when amends are made, but it even better never to have to make amends.
George Lakoff is the Goldman Distinguished Professor of Cognitive Science and Linguistics at the University of California in Berkley. Elisabeth Wehling is a political scientist who is doing linguistics research at Cal-Berkley. They have collaborated in writing a book called The Little Blue Book. The last three sentences in their preface say this: “Our major point is simple. Messaging is about thinking, not just language. To get language right, you have to understand the thought it conjures up.” Then, the first three sentences in the introduction say this: “The central issue of our time is what kind of country America is and ought to be, that is, what system of values should govern us. First, we must understand that all politics is moral: every political leader says to us that we should do what he or she recommends because it’s right, not because it’s wrong or doesn’t matter. And today our politics is governed by two very different views of what is right and wrong.” Then the two academics attempt to explain what kind of politics they believe is right, and why.
Because the authors of The Little Blue Book are linguists, they are concerned with how political ideas are understood when they are spoken to the electorate by politicians. Politicians must frame their ideas correctly if they are to be correctly understood, they say. There is a lot of truth to that. However, if politicians are more concerned with how they say something than they are with what they say, they may use words not to clarify but deliberately to confuse. Sometimes, after a politician or preacher or professor says something, we may scratch our heads and ask, “What, exactly, was it that was said?” There is power and danger in words, but words can also create an unintentional muddle or an intentional misdirection.
We need to be true to God and to one another in what we say. Here are three suggestions on how to go about that difficult task.
First, Don’t say what you don’t mean. Another way to state that is to say we should mean what we say, and say what we mean. The meaning of words should not be twisted or distorted deliberately to misinform or mislead.
Secondly, I recall for you the words of a great philosopher, who once declared, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” I remember Flower the Skunk uttering those immortal words in Bambi as though it were yesterday, even though it was nearly seventy years ago that I heard her say it. It is very good advice, but also very difficult advice. Sometimes we may feel we need to say something that isn’t nice in order to break an interpersonal, internecine, or international logjam. Still, it is better to say things that aren’t so nice nicely than to say them with malice or disdain.
Thirdly, we should recognize that Not only do others listen to what we say, but God also listens. Therefore we should say only what we know God would want us to say --- and mean. In World War II there was an expression: “Loose lips sink big ships.” Loose lips can also break the heart of God and of our fellow human beings. Caring what we say is far more important than merely saying something.
It is also very important to the degree possible to think through ahead of time what kinds of things it is --- or isn’t --- wise to say in every kind of occasion. One of the most helpful methods in doing that is to listen to how others speak well or poorly. Words are the primary building blocks of both communication and meaning, and we should be careful in what we say, to prevent anyone misconstruing what we truly mean. Hurtful or hateful words should always be avoided, because they are a major impediment to effective and helpful communication.
The last line spoken by the actor who plays Nelson Mandela in the movie Mandela is a quote from one of the speeches of the late, great, wondrously flawed liberator of South Africa. He said, “People learn to hate, but they can be taught to love.”
Observing negative actions can instantly elicit negative thoughts in anyone. The natives of South Africa saw enormous injustice under Apartheid. But hearing positive words from trusted and admired people can turn those thoughts to positive deeds and attitudes. There is great danger when words are misused or abused in their true meanings. However, there is great power when words are used well and wisely. God gives us our voices. He also gives us our brains. Let us use our brains to engage our voices in His praise and for the benefit of everyone around us. Thanks God for words! They are pivotal in making human beings human.